Blog Tour (Review): My Boyfriend Barfed in My Handbag... and Other Things You Can't Ask Martha by Jolie Kerr

Title: My Boyfriend Barfed in My Handbag... and Other Things You Can't Ask Martha
Author: Jolie Kerr
Publisher: Plume (Penguin)
Release Date: February 25, 2014
Acquired Via: TLC Book Tours
Got a cleaning disaster on your hands? From the Deadspin and Jezebel author of the popular “Ask a Clean Person” column comes a hilarious and practical guide to cleaning all of life’s little, and sometimes rare, household emergencies. Just in time for Spring Cleaning – Jolie Kerr’s My Boyfriend Barfed in My Handbag... and Other Things You Can't Ask Martha (a Plume original, on sale February 25, 2014) tackles the most common (and uncommon) spills, odors, and – let’s face it – those oh-so embarrassing stains you just can’t ask your parents about.

With her signature charm and humor, Jolie Kerr takes on everything from Cleaning 101 questions such as ‘How do I use a mop?’ to the more obscure ‘How do I clean up this ginger beer that exploded all over my kitchen?’ My Boyfriend Barfed in My Handbag is NOT your Martha Stewart’s Homekeeping Handbook! Jolie helps with even the most nightmarish cleaning such as:

• How to Clean a Toilet: Complete with a rousing discussion of how and why to clean a toilet brush! Because at some point you may want to clean the thing you use to clean the other things in the home.
• Deep Cleaning All Types of Makeup Brushes: Extend the life of your beautifying tools and rid them of breakout-causing bacteria.
• Getting to Know Your Washer and Dryer: Everything you ever wanted to know about laundry, but were too afraid to ask!
• Getting the McDonald’s French Fry Smell Out of the Minivan: Avoid those rearview mirror trees unless you want a McDonald’s-french-fry-and-pine-tree-smelling car.

…and other cleaning tips you can’t ask Martha.

My Boyfriend Barfed in My Handbag showcases Jolie’s infinite cleaning knowledge and terrific sense of humor, including remedies for heirloom wedding dress restoration, confetti stains on wood floors, dusty ceiling fans and endless laundry, as well general tips for leading a tidier and happier existence.

Whether you’re moving into a college dorm, purchasing your first home, or finally getting around to cleaning your old one, no stain, spill, or surprise windowsill mushroom growth is too odd or embarrassing for Jolie. My Boyfriend Barfed in My Handbag... and Other Things You Can't Ask Martha is the perfect guide for college students or housewarming gift to someone new to living on their own.

Praise for My Boyfriend Barfed in My Handbag

“Wise and funny. . . . The Lorrie Moore short story, or the Tina Fey memoir, of cleaning tutorials.” — Dwight Garner, The New York Times

“Thrillingly titled. . . . For a generation overwhelmed not just by dust bunnies, but by bong water on the carpet, pee stains on the ceiling and vomit seemingly everywhere, Jolie Kerr dispenses cleaning advice free of judgment. . . . A Mrs. Beeton for the postcollege set.” — Penelope Green, The New York Times

“Jolie Kerr really cuts through the grease and grime with her new book. I do what she tells me to do.” — Amy Sedaris

Book Trailer


My Review

I don't a lot of "how-to" books or non-fiction in general when I'm not in school, but there was something about My Boyfriend Barfed in My Handbag... and Other Things You Can't Ask Martha that I couldn't pass up. (Probably the tackily awesome title.) I'm glad that I didn't because the book is as disgustingly funny as the title, yet full of helpful hints that can actually be used in everyday life.

Top Ten Tuesday: Most Unique Books I Have Ever Read

Top Ten Tuesday is an original feature/weekly meme created and hosted by The Broke and the Bookish.

Top Ten Most Unique Books I Have Ever Read
This week was really hard for me, because there are so many books and ideas currently floating around that it is hard to find something truly original. I mean, supposedly there are only 7 basic plots in literature and these plots just keep getting reused over and again. So, I tried to find books that were unique for at least one reason, even if I didn’t love the book and even if some parts or the rest of the book aren’t as original.



1. The Knife of Never Letting Go (Chaos Walking #1) by Patrick Ness
I thought that the concept of the "noise" was pretty unique. Only men's thoughts are released into the "noise", and while women can hear the "noise", their thoughts are not released into the "noise."



2. The Book Thief by Markus Zusak
This was unique in that the narrator is Death.

Book Blast (Giveaway): The Towers of Tuscany by Carol Cram

Historical Fiction Virtual Book Tours and author Carol M. Cram are excited to announce The Towers of Tuscany Book Blast! Join us from April 7-13 as The Towers of Tuscany is featured around the blogosphere, along with a chance to win one of three copies of this amazing new novel! Called "a beautifully crafted masterpiece of historical fiction", "lush", and "page-turning" Cram's debut novel will appeal to readers who enjoy a strong female lead who, against great odds, dares to follow a dream. The Towers of Tuscany includes a Reader's Guide making it a perfect Book Club pick! In honor of the Book Blast we are giving away three copies to three lucky readers, see below to enter.

The Towers of Tuscany
Publication Date: January 23, 2014
New Arcadia Publishing
Formats: Paperback, Ebook
Genre: Historical Fiction

Set amid the twisting streets and sunlit piazzas of medieval Italy, the Towers of Tuscany tells the story of a woman who dares to follow her own path in the all-male domain of the painter’s workshop. Sofia Barducci is born into a world where a woman is only as good as the man who cares for her, but she still claims the right to make her own mistakes. Her first mistake is convincing her father to let her marry Giorgio Carelli, a wealthy saffron merchant in San Gimignano, the Tuscan city of towers. Trained in secret by her father to create the beautifully-crafted panels and altarpieces acclaimed today as masterpieces of late medieval art, Sofia’s desire for freedom from her father’s workshop leads her to betray her passion and sink into a life of loveless drudgery with a husband who comes to despise her when she does not produce a son.

In an attack motivated by vendetta, Sofia’s father is crushed by his own fresco, compelling Sofia to act or risk the death of her soul. The choice she makes takes her on a journey from misery to the heights of passion—both as a painter and as a woman. Sofia escapes to Siena where, disguised as a boy, she paints again. When her work attracts the notice of a nobleman who discovers the woman under the dirty smock, Sofia is faced with a choice that nearly destroys her.

The Towers of Tuscany unites a strong heroine with meticulously researched settings and compelling characters drawn from the rich tapestry of medieval Italy during one of Europe's most turbulent centuries. The stylishly written plot is packed with enough twists and turns to keep readers up long past their bedtimes.

READ AN EXCERPT HERE.
Praise for The Towers of Tuscany

“The Towers of Tuscany is a delightful escape to the Siena we all love. Carol Cram has crafted a delicious story about a strong woman torn between her secret past, her love of painting and the forbidden charms of her rich patron. Hard to resist and highly recommended!” - Anne Fortier, Author of The Lost Sisterhood and the New York Times bestseller, Juliet

Review: Binding the Shadows by Jenn Bennett

Title: Binding the Shadows (Arcadia Bell #3)
Author: Jenn Bennett
Publisher: Pocket Books (Simon & Schuster)
Acquired Via: Library
Release Date: May 28, 2013
In the third book in this beloved and “riveting” (Romantic Times) urban fantasy series, demon-friendly tiki bar owner Arcadia Bell discovers more about her own evolving, and possibly destructive, magical abilities when her bar is the target of a demonic crime wave.

Renegade mage and bartender Arcadia Bell has had a rough year, but now the door to her already unstable world is unhinging. When a citywide crime wave erupts, Cady's demon-friendly tiki bar is robbed by Earthbounds wielding surreal demonic abilities that just flat-out shouldn't exist. With the help of her devilishly delicious boyfriend, Lon Butler, Cady sets out to find the people who wronged her—but her targets aren't the only ones experiencing unnatural metamorphoses. Can Cady track down the monsters responsible before the monster inside her destroys everything—and everyone—she loves? If she survives this adventure, one thing is certain: it's last call for life as she knows it.

My Review

I decided to pick up the Arcadia Bell series because I always see it in my recommendations based on the Kate Daniels and Mercy Thompson series. I am so glad that I finally did! This is now one of my new favorite Urban Fantasy series. I’m trying to remember everything I loved about this book and the series without just gushing incoherently while screaming that EVERYONE NEEDS TO PICK UP THIS SERIES NOW! So, here goes...

Blog Tour (Review & Giveaway): The Enchanted by Rene Denfeld

Title: The Enchanted
Author: Rene Denfeld
Publisher: 47North
Release Date: March 4, 2014
Acquired Via: TLC Book Tours
The lady, an investigator who excels at uncovering information to save her clients from execution . . .

The fallen priest, beaten down by his guilt over a terrible sin and its tragic consequences . . .

The warden, a kind man within a cruel system . . .

The mute prisoner, sensing what others cannot in what he calls "this enchanted place" . . .

The enchanted place is an ancient stone prison. Two outsiders walk here: a woman known only as the lady, and a fallen priest. The lady comes to the prison when she has a job to do. She's skilled at finding the secrets that get men off death row. This gift threatens her career—and complicates her life—when she takes on the case of York, a killer whose date of execution looms. York is different from the lady's former clients: he wants to die. Going against the condemned man's wishes, the lady begins her work. What she uncovers about York's birth and upbringing rings chillingly familiar. In York's shocking and shameful childhood, the lady sees the shadows of her own.

The lady is watched by a death row inmate who finds escape in the books he reads from the prison library and by reimagining the world he inhabits—a world of majestic golden horses that stampede underground and of tiny men who hammer away inside stone walls. He is not named, nor do we know his crime. But he listens. He listens to York's story. He sees the lady fall in love with the priest and wonders how such warmth is possible in these crumbling corridors. As tensions in "this enchanted place" build, he sees the corruption and the danger. And he waits as the hour of his own destiny approaches.

The Enchanted is a magical novel about redemption, the poetry that can exist within the unfathomable, and the human capacity to transcend and survive even the most nightmarish reality. Beautiful and unexpected, this is a memorable story.

My Review

Usually when I go into a book expecting one thing and getting another, it is not a good thing. However, what I found in Rene Denfeld's The Enchanted was something better than anything I could have possibly imagined this novel to be. I went in believing that it was some sort of magical realism, but in truth, the only magic in The Enchanted is Denfeld's beautiful writing.

Waiting on Wednesday (48): House of Ivy & Sorrow by Natalie Whipple

Waiting on Wednesday is a weekly event that is hosted by Jill at Breaking the Spine and spotlights upcoming releases that we're eagerly anticipating.



Title: House of Ivy & Sorrow
Author: Natalie Whipple
Publisher: HarperTeen
Release Date: April 15, 2014
Josephine Hemlock has spent the last 10 years hiding from the Curse that killed her mother. But when a mysterious man arrives at her ivy-covered, magic-fortified home, it’s clear her mother’s killer has finally come to destroy the rest of the Hemlock bloodline. Before Jo can even think about fighting back, she must figure out who she’s fighting in the first place. The more truth Jo uncovers, the deeper she falls into witchcraft darker than she ever imagined. Trapped and running out of time, she begins to wonder if the very Curse that killed her mother is the only way to save everyone she loves.


The blurb had me at witches and curse, and the Amazon blurb compares this to Charmed which is one of my ridiculous guilty pleasures. Plus, I always love a good dark YA standalone!

What are you waiting on this week?

Review: Stolen Songbird by Danielle L. Jensen (2)

Title: Stolen Songbird (The Malediction Trilogy #1)
Author: Danielle L. Jensen
Publisher: Strange Chemistry
Acquired Via: Publisher
Release Date: April 1, 2014
For five centuries, a witch’s curse has bound the trolls to their city beneath the ruins of Forsaken Mountain. Time enough for their dark and nefarious magic to fade from human memory and into myth. But a prophesy has been spoken of a union with the power to set the trolls free, and when Cécile de Troyes is kidnapped and taken beneath the mountain, she learns there is far more to the myth of the trolls than she could have imagined.

Cécile has only one thing on her mind after she is brought to Trollus: escape. Only the trolls are clever, fast, and inhumanly strong. She will have to bide her time, wait for the perfect opportunity.

But something unexpected happens while she’s waiting – she begins to fall for the enigmatic troll prince to whom she has been bonded and married. She begins to make friends. And she begins to see that she may be the only hope for the half-bloods – part troll, part human creatures who are slaves to the full-blooded trolls. There is a rebellion brewing. And her prince, Tristan, the future king, is its secret leader.

As Cécile becomes involved in the intricate political games of Trollus, she becomes more than a farmer’s daughter. She becomes a princess, the hope of a people, and a witch with magic powerful enough to change Trollus forever.

My Review

A lot of the book was reminiscent of Beauty and the Beast - unwilling girl kidnapped to break a monstrous curse. There were several other parallels, but I don’t want to give any spoilers so I won’t discuss it here. I did think that it was little convenient that when Cécile is first brought to Trollus she thought that all the trolls were “monstrous” but the one troll she is supposed to marry she thinks is beautiful. I wish that Tristan would have been, if not disfigured, then at least not the most beautiful person in Trollus. It would have been refreshing to have a less-than-perfect male lead in YA.

Top Ten Tuesday: "Gateway" Books/Authors

Top Ten Tuesday is an original feature/weekly meme created and hosted by The Broke and the Bookish.

Top Ten "Gateway" Books/Authors on My Reading Journey

Horror



1. Welcome to Dead House by R.L. Stine

and

2. Edgar Allen Poe

Mystery



3. The Secret of the Old Clock (Nancy Drew #1) by Carolyn Keene

Romance