Me: Hey, Kayla, didn't you read Stormdancer by Jay Kristoff last year?
Myself: Umm... Hey! I ordered that book sometime in 2011 (I think) before it had any cover art. I appealed to all the Powers to get an ARC, but was unsuccessful. Did you know that Kevin Hearne, one of my nerd idols, said that the book was awesome? I bought the book on his recommendation alone!
Me: Yeah, I know all of that already. We're the same person, remember? But didn't you grab it and start reading it as soon as it came out?!
Myself: Yep, I sure did! It had some of the most beautifully crafted world-building that I've ever encountered in a novel. I have absolutely no idea why it is even classified as YA except that Yukiko is a teen. I think it has to do with marketing, but I think the YA tag may turn off some adult readers that haven't jumped on the bandwagon yet. It should be classified as "AWESOME" and leave it as that.
Me: I agree completely. How long did it take you to finish it?
Myself: Have you SEEN the cover art for Kinslayer?!
Me: Oh yeah, it is totally badass, though Cuddlebuggery's reveal kind of made it awkward to look at. I think it's the veins on the sea creatures neck.
Myself: *stares at the cover* Yeah... But seriously, I have a crush on these covers. There is just so much badassery going on that it's almost painful to look at the cover. I think I'd switch teams for Yukiko if I wasn't afraid that she'd kick my ass!
Me: Yes, she would totally kick your ass. I'm sorry to interrupt your rambling, but when did you finish READING Stormdancer?
Me: OMG! You didn't finish reading it?!
Myself: You know what, you're just some crazy figment of my imagination that is OUT TO GET ME!
Me: Bahahaha! You totally didn't finish the book! You fantard so hard over Jay Kristoff, but you didn't even read the @$%^&!* book! Kayla, seriously, what the hell is going on with you?!
Myself: See, what had happened was—
Myself: Fine! I was working three jobs, juggling review copies, and it kind of ended up back on the shelf. It happens!
Me: You know what, you suck just a little bit. You know damn good and well that Stormdancer was primed up to be the best thing you read last year. What's really going on?
Myself: *shuffles feet*
Me: Spill it!
Myself: Okay, okay! I don't want to cry.
Me: You don't want to cry?
Myself: Yeah, I don't want to cry.
Me: Why would you cry?
Myself: Well, everyone seems to have it on these "made-me-cry" shelves on Goodreads. And even Jay says in his "About Me" section states that he doesn't believe in happy endings.
Me: Do you want to know what I think?
Me: I'm going to tell you anyway.
Myself: I figured that.
Me: Just go read the damn book.
Myself: Ha! I one-upped you there! I bought the audiobook on Audible, and I've been listening to it. I'm taking my hardcover with me on vacation so I can read in the car. So neener neener neener!
Me: How about you stop talking to yourself now? Everyone is going to think you're crazier than what they already do.
Myself: Actually, you're the one who started it.